I never really realized how often this happened until recently. I was making a list of topic ideas for my Substack posts. Like any creator, I like to keep a backlog of ideas for when I’m not feeling very creative or nothing comes to mind when it’s time to write.

I started jotting down the ideas when my brain went like 💡!!! I thought, “how can I make my content stand out? How can I make it different? I need topics and content that is interesting, more introspective, exciting…”

As soon as my brain started down that path and I started adding topic ideas to the list that fit my new random guidelines I literally stopped and went, “huh, I do this all the time.”

I realized that a) I constantly come up with new ideas, new plans, new content, and so on that doesn’t actually help my overall goals (talk about self sabotage!!), and b) I’m super overthinking my Substack!!

But why though?

In the past I have compared myself to so many other people on social media. Especially Instagram. I’ve never been able to make anything of any Instagram account I’ve ever had. No matter what I did, what I posted, how much I posted… I just didn’t have whatever was needed for the Instagram Gods lol. So I would spend a lot of time looking at others who did have “it” and ask myself what I was missing.

To this day I still don’t really know but I have stopped caring. The part of me that felt like I needed to fit in and be a certain way online is gone.

Or, so I thought!

Those same feelings of comparison and my deep seated need to figure out what I’m missing has kind of come back since deciding I want to grow my Substack. I’ve spent too long comparing myself to successful creators and seeing what they post, when they post it, how often, and how they show up on notes. It’s taken that easy flow of just posting what feels right to overthinking everything and needing it to fit into a greater strategy.

And let me tell you, it’s a very easy mountain to fall down because Substack is full of great writers and interesting people. Looking around it’s not hard to feel like compared to these people, I have nothing to share and what I do share is not good enough. I don’t always write the perfect words or phrases, I’m not an English major, or doing something super cool that everyone wants to know about. I’m just a girl in my 30s who likes to write content that falls within the lifestyle/cozy living kind of category. Maybe thats kind of boring? Or over done? But that doesn’t change the fact that that is me.

I forced myself to take a step back and really think about what my goal is. I realized that my goal here doesn’t involve being the best writer out there. It doesn’t involve being the most interesting person in the room. I don’t need to have the deepest thoughts. I don’t even need to be totally different and unique.

I realized that I just need to be myself and be honest. Something I have noticed on Substack from my own personal experience is that people value honesty.

I realized that I am overthinking everything. When I look back at my Substack content some of my most popular posts are the ones I wrote for fun. A list, a thought that turned into a ramble, something I’m struggling with. It wasn’t the super curated content that people felt seen by. It was just the day to day, real life, real thoughts from a real person type of content.

And if I’m being even more honest, when I come onto Substack to read content I typically don’t go for the super deep and meaningful articles on the human experience. I don’t always click on the “how to” articles. I’m much more likely to read something like “things that happened at the grocery store that embarrassed me.” Super random but also, I want to know!!!

Some people want to escape for a bit and may not want to read something intellectual or highly involved. Those are my people!

So when August rolls around and I start getting that itch to change things or even change me, I will remind myself that I’m right where I belong and to stop overthinking it. Honesty is the best policy and that includes me being honest to myself!

For you, the reader, this is a reminder to do what you want to do and not let other people change you. The world wants to hear YOUR story. Not a recycled version of someone else’s. And ultimately, there isn’t a right or wrong way to do this. Just write and enjoy the process. I’ll be right there with you 💖

Until next time,

Deanna

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I’m still like this to be honest. I don’t love watching new movies or starting a new show. I love the comfort and calm of engaging with media that I know is tried and true.

Over the years I started keeping track of the movies, shows, and audio that bring me joy and I would consider cozy in some way. I have in fact let myself expand past Men in Black 1, 2, and 3. Don’t get me started on Men in Black International though… it’s just not right lol. It’s kind of like Halloweentown 4 (Return to Halloweentown)… iykyk. That is a topic for another day.

The last few years I have been dedicated to living a cozier life. Doing softer things. Finding out what makes me me. Step one was letting myself enjoy things I truly enjoy. Not worrying about the latest and greatest or keeping track of the newest movies and shows. I’ve never watched Game of Thrones and I don’t think I ever will… it’s not my cup of tea and I know that about myself now. Why consume media that makes you feel a way you don’t want to feel?

This list is many of the books, movies, shows, and audio that I love. Things that feel cozy. Media that makes me feel comfortable and happy. Things I would play in the background when I’m baking cookies. Books I would reread.

And while not every single thing on this list may be the definition of cozy, they ended up on the list because of the feeling they gave me. Maybe it was a time of life I watched/read/listened or it ticked the boxes of things I just inherently enjoy. Regardless, I hope you enjoy my cozy media list and maybe find something to check out yourself!

So without further ado, let’s chat about my favourite comfort media.

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Cozy reading

— Easy comfort reads:

• The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst

• Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree

• Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adam’s

• Funny Story by Emily Henry

• Haunted Ever After by Jen DeLuca

• The Christmas Tree Farm by Laurie Gilmore

— Books for a rainy day:

• Kingdon of the Wicked by Kerri Maniscalco

• Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

• The Lost Bookshop by Evie Woods

• Keeper of Enchanted Rooms by Charlie N. Holmberg

• Nosy Neighbors by Freya Sampson

• Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune

— Atmospheric reads:

• A Witch’s Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna

• The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

• Greenteeth by Molly O’Neill

• The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

• The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

• The Hotel for the Lost by Suzanna Young

Cozy movies

— Movies for escaping:

• Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

• Mama Mia

• The Princess Diaries

• The Devil Wears Prada

• Tangled

• Men in Black

— Movies that feel like a hug:

• You’ve Got Mail

• Nonnas

• Paddington

• Letters to Juliet

• We Bought a Zoo

• Pitch Perfect

— For an easy laugh

• Just Go with It

• Bridesmaids

• The Lego Movie

• Mrs. Doubtfire

• Dodgeball

• Zoolander

Cozy shows

— Watching in the background:

• Friends

• How I Met Your Mother

• The Big Bang Theory

• The Office

• New Girl

• Gilmore Girls

— Fun, binge-worthy shows:

• Younger

• Sex and the City

• Schitts Creek

• Brooklyn 99

• Lucifer

• Disenchantment

— Cozy reality shows:

• The Great British Bake Off

• Property Brothers

• Nailed It!

• Love on the Spectrum

• Masterchef Junior

• Fixer Upper

Cozy listening

• Giggly Squad podcast

• Kalyn’s Coffee Talk podcast/ Kalyn Nicholson on YouTube

• The Squeeze podcast

• Sounds like a Cult podcast

• Call Me Maybe by Cara Bastone (audiobook)

• Coffee Shop Ambience (YouTube)

• Folklore (entire album) by Taylor Swift

• Austin (entire album) by Post Malone

It was so much fun putting this list together. I will be starting a Brooklyn 99 rewatch after this!! Maybe also Lucifer. Love those shows so much.

I also need to check and see if Cara Bastone has more audiobooks out. It seems like the ones that are made for audible are all amazing. They are like a movie in audiobook form!

I’d love to hear what you have on your cozy media list. What comes to mind? Any comfort books/movies/shows?

Until next time,

Deanna

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👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

April has been the first month of being a mom. Of trying to figure out my daughter. Of not getting enough sleep. Of feeling so much love but also sadness, anxiety, and anger. I didn’t realize how many conflicting emotions would come with having a baby. How one can love so much that I would destroy worlds for her but also want to run away and never look back. Being a mom to a newborn has been so hard. Who knew a tiny little human could be so incredibly difficult?! However, it’s also been the most amazing month and I cannot wait to see her grow.

She is currently sleeping beside me and being the most perfect little angel. One of my favourite things so far is when she gets that newborn startle reflex and just shoots her arms into the air lol too cute.

So, while I still have some time to type… let’s chat about April!

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What has worked in April: Taking things really slow and not worrying about getting anything done. This is a different time in my life and while I would love to just jump back into my projects and creative things, I just can’t right now. And that’s okay! Taking it easy has been working well right now. My body needs it (hello c-section mamas) and my baby needs it. She needs cuddles on demand!

What has not worked in April: My brain lol. Between the lack of sleep, hormonal changes, and trying to figure out this little human I feel like my brain has left the chat. It’s coming back though. Hopefully soon I will feel a little more normal.

Reading:

Not a lot of reading has been happening BUT I have finished one book and I am currently reading another. I finished Battle of the Bookstores by Ali Brady. I really liked it (4/5). And I am currently reading The Enchanted Greenhouse by Sarah Beth Durst. I’m only a few chapters in but really liking it so far. I loooved The Spellshop (the first book) so I’m not surprised this one is good too.

Watching:

We have been watching sooo many movies. There isn’t too much more to do with a newborn and when you are recovering. Here are some movies we have watched this month:

• How to Train Your Dragon (live action) - wonderful time

• The Lost City - super fun, loved Channing Tatum in this

• Snatched - very silly but enjoyable

• Tangled - always a great watch

• Terminator: Dark Fate - not bad, very action packed

• Captain America: Brave New World - honestly did not love this… the whole movie looked way too CGI

• Finch - I cried at the end, literally so sad

• Zootopia 2 - amazing movie, loved every second

Eating:

We have been eating lots of freezer meals and take out. Not the healthiest but that is all we can handle right now. One month in and I have finally written down a meal plan for the week… let’s see if we stick with it!

Doing:

Mainly just hanging out at home with baby. I get out for a little walk daily but otherwise it’s pretty chill at home. Looking forward to being able to drive again but also really scared to take her out anywhere on my own… I think May will bring a lot more activity.

Loving:

There have been a few baby items that have changed our lives this past month!! I thought I would breastfeed but it didn’t really work out so now that she is exclusively on formula we are LOVING the Baby Brezza Formula Pro. It’s totally overkill but this machine is amazing. It’s basically a coffee maker for formula. It heats the water, mixes the perfect amount of formula and then dispenses it. Amazing!!

We have also been using the Snuggle Me Lounger daily. She loves her daytime naps in it. And super happy we got the Uppababy stroller. It is really nice and so easy to use.

I’ve also been loving the weather! Spring has definitely sprung here. Such a wonderful time for walks and just being outside.

There is so much to look forward to right now. I am mostly excited to experience summer time with a baby. One of our favourite summer activities is going to breweries and wineries. We have already taken her to a brewery but looking forward to adventuring to our other favourite spots with her.

I also cannot wait to feel a bit more normal. I know that it will take time and I might never feel “normal” again… but maybe a new normal. One where my body feels stronger and I’m not scared to cough or sneeze. I’d love to move my body again, gently. Looking forward to my 6 week appointment and hopefully getting the go ahead to do some of those things again.

Maybe May will bring a little more sleep? Maybe a little more routine? Who knows. All I know right now is that I have an amazing little baby who seems to enjoy being around me and I cannot wait to see her next stage. Getting big smiles and playing with her… the newborn stage is very sweet and I’m sure I will miss it but I’m excited for when she realizes I’m her mom!

Life is challenging right now and I think it will always be in some way from this day forward but I would do anything for her. Hopefully with some time and more confidence I won’t want to run away as much lol. One day at a time.

Until next time,

Deanna

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It’s all normal I’m sure, but holy smokes, as we get closer, the more I question everything!

The social media influencers have the perfect routines and cute outfits, my friends are sharing tips and tricks, my mom is telling me to relax because it’s not rocket science (lol), and meanwhile, I’m panicking about the hospital bag.

But as I’m writing this, I realize this is part of the process. Every first time mom is going to have a million questions and not know what to do. It’s okay and I will figure it out one day at a time. This little baby will be so loved and all I can do is my best. That’s the advice I’d give someone else so I think I should take it.

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What has worked in March: I am finally off work!! The last couple of weeks were brutal. As soon as I got to 36 weeks, going to work was like pulling teeth. I’m so happy to be home now. It’s given me time to get some extra rest and work on the nursery!

What has not worked in March: moving my body has not really been happening. I really thought I’d get more walks in and do all these stretches but I just don’t want to. I’m so tired and walking is so hard these days (thanks, swollen everything). I’ve been out and about and moving around the house cleaning/ organizing but no real dedicated “exercise” time.

🎉 Exciting news: Just wanted to add a little part about something I launched this month!!! I have been playing with the idea of a workbook for the last couple of years, never really sticking with any idea. I decided it was time to just take action!! So I launched my first ever workbook, The Cozy Life Admin Day Workbook! I made 7 sales so far and it feels like a HUGE accomplishment :)

Reading:

You guys, I’m almost finished the Zodiac Academy series!!! Currently reading book 8. There is one more after this. There is so much happening now and the end of book 7 was ROUGH. Super looking forward to seeing how this all ends!

I also read Mate by Ali Hazelwood (4 / 5) and A Witch’s Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna (4 /5).

Watching:

We started watching Landman! I wasn’t sold on it right away but after a couple of episodes, I was hooked. Overall safety for the workers is low 😅 the daughter and wife are hilarious. It has been an interesting watch.

Also watched a few movies… who am I?! War Machine (was not bad, one of those action-packed kinda crazy movies), The Gorge (really liked it despite the actual plot being a little silly but anything with Miles Teller is a win for me), and 28 Years Later (exactly what you’d expect from a zombie movie lol)

Eating:

I have been really loving donairs lately. Funny enough, someone on here pointed out that donairs are actually an Eastern Canadian thing. I had no idea!! They apparently originated in Halifax. Over here in BC, we love our donairs. So thanks, Halifax!!

Doing:

Lately, I’ve just been relaxing, reading (books and Substacks), and watching YouTube. It’s been quite nice actually.

Here are some of my favourite reads and watches:

• Spring Cleaning like I’m in a 90s romantic comedy 🌷✨ Realistic , a touch chaotic & cozy girl vibes (Morgan Long) 🎥

• I Tested LUXURY Drive Thrus! (Honeysuckle) 🎥

• I Tested 1-Star vs 5-Star Cruises (Hangtime) 🎥

• The 12 careers I’ve tried on by 30 & what I learned from them all (Notes from Nat) ✍🏼

• What being a mediocre child gymnast taught me (Marginalia: writing in life’s margins) ✍🏼

• How to Do a Gentle, Quick Spring Clean for Your Mental Space (Productivity With Care) ✍🏼

Loving:

I have a few baby items I am already super happy with! One being the diaper bag we got. I was going to get the Lululemon one but then found a similar one on Amazon and I’m super happy with it (plus it’s half the price).

The momcozy nursing pillow looks amazing. It’s a great size, super cozy, and seems like it will be a daily use item.

Also, we were gifted the momcozy bottle washer and sterilizer. It’s totally overboard and I’m sure not needed but it’s really cool and I can’t wait to use it!

I’m in this weird limbo right now. I don’t want to plan anything because I don’t know when baby is going to show up. But I also want to do everything before baby shows up 😂

I recently created a dynamic content calendar on Google Sheets. I really wanted something that could auto-fill into a calendar but I just couldn’t find what I wanted on Etsy or anywhere. I found a YouTube video with a walkthrough and I actually figured it out!! It’s nothing crazy but I think it’s going to work exactly the way I wanted. So now I want to create all this content and plan for April and the months ahead. However, I know whatever I plan won’t happen!!

So I’m trying to be gentle with myself. Letting my ideas flow and trying to come up with a loose plan that can be totally changed or scrapped. Basically just realizing that life is going to be a little different for a bit and that while I may not get a weekly post out, I can aim for one a month!

A lot of unknown is coming, which is really hard for me. I don’t know how I’ll feel, what my schedule will be, how much time or energy I will have, etc. I just need to figure it out as I go!

No point in getting myself into another spiral! What I’ve learned from everything I have read online about babies and first-time moms is that everyone is so different! I will panic, get stressed out, feel tired, worry about the appropriate clothing (because really, what do they wear?!), and then I will figure it out.

Reminder to me and everyone else going through a big change: take a deep breath, release some of your control, and just go with the flow. It will all work out 🤍

Until next time,

Deanna

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Right around the time the sun starts to come out again is when I realize my house is a mess. It’s always a bit shocking to see how much dust has accumulated over the winter when the sun hits a room just the right way… am I blind?? How have I been living in this squalor?!

Recently, on top of realizing my house is a mess, I’ve also been prepping for a baby. Turns out waiting until you’re 36+ weeks pregnant to get cleaning and organizing is a massive mistake 😅 I have never been so tired before. I swear I only have 2 good hours a day before I need to curl up on the couch and nap the day away like my cat.

Safe to say, only some things are getting done. A person only has so much time and energy in a day to clean, declutter, organize, and prepare for a new season. And as much as I loooove the spring cleaning mindset (out with the old, in with the new), during this season, I need something softer, more gentle.

It won’t look like a spring reset or total house refresh. It will look like doing what I can and making those small changes that add up to big differences! Really, that’s all that matters anyway. We let ourselves get sucked into these crazy cleaning routines and Sunday resets when it’s not necessary! Just another example of productivity culture.

Reframing decluttering

I am a strong believer in your mindset and actions being driven by your words.

We have been bombarded by media, advertisements, and our upbringing to do a massive spring clean! It’s giving those radio ads like “Sunday, Sunday, be there, be there!!!”

You can find checklists, workbooks, guides, TikToks, businesses promoting sales, cleaning coaches, and probably a million other things online about spring cleaning. A lot of them are often targeted at women and moms, who, of course, are the spring cleaners.

Because of all the noise, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to dedicate whole weekends to deep cleaning, decluttering everything, and basically becoming a new person. You might feel lazy or dirty or like you are missing that special touch that others have if you don’t jump right into refreshing everything you own. The reality is, you are just normal! Normal people don’t have time to do it all. And you don’t NEED to do it all. It’s a newer concept in society that we all need to live in these hospital-grade, sterilized homes.

So how can you change your mindset around spring cleaning and decluttering? How can you create a more gentle mindset?

Start with the words you use!

Reframe cleaning and decluttering from:

• a massive overhaul to some small edits

• intense and rushed to relaxed and on your own time

• “I need to declutter everything” to “I’ll start with one room”

• needing things to feel perfect to just needing to feel better

• looking at it like a chore to looking at it as self-care and taking care of your space

• having to make your house look like the social media influencers to allowing your house to look lived in (and real)

The gentle way I am approaching spring cleaning and decluttering

If you know me, then you know cleaning is not my favourite task and honestly, I don’t do it on a super regular basis. I’m really good at making things look tidy but to actually get down and scrub things… Let’s just say my husband does a lot more of that!

However, now that I’m off work waiting for baby’s arrival and will be home once baby is here, I should put some effort into cleaning and decluttering to be more helpful! This spring seems like a good time to start. But let’s do it my way. The gentle way.

Here’s how I’m going to do this:

1- one space at a time

I don’t care if it takes me weeks to get through the house. I plan on starting with one room. I might even break it down into one small spot (like my closet in my bedroom instead of the whole bedroom). Just keep it simple so it doesn’t get overwhelming.

2- do what feels obvious

I’ll start with putting things back in their spots. If clothes are on the floor, I’ll hang them up. If the countertop is cluttered, I’ll clear it off. Starting with the most obvious tasks in that space, so then I can tackle the harder parts after. Small wins!

3- focus on seasonal things

For the decluttering part, I’ll focus on seasonal items. Winter clothes can get put away, fall and winter décor can get put away, create a donation bag for the clothes no longer needed, etc. This can go for clothing, décor, kitchenware, baby items, books… anything!

4- stop before it’s too much

I often get tired quickly when cleaning, organizing, and decluttering. It just drains me! So I’ll be sure to take breaks and stop before I’m fully drained. There is no rush to get things done in one day or one weekend. It’s totally okay to stop and pick up the next day. The task will still be there!

Small areas that make a big difference to the feel of your home

Every home has a “catch-all” area that gets cluttered really quickly. For me, that is a small side counter in the kitchen. It gets soooo full of random things and becomes overwhelming really fast.

I’ve found that keeping some of these catch-all spaces tidy makes your home feel a lot better overall. So during the spring clean and declutter, I will make sure these spaces get a little love!

The catch-all spaces I’ll be focusing on:

• The small side counter in the kitchen

• Bedside tables

• Pantry (I’m so bad for not putting things back in their spots!!)

• My desk

• Kitchen island (basically becomes a dumping ground lol)

• The corner of my closet where things go to die 🤪

Remember, you don’t need to have the perfect home. You can do little things (like clearing off your bedside table) that will make a big difference.

Growing up with parents who were constantly cleaning and making sure things looked perfect was overwhelming. When I went out on my own into the big, scary world, I felt lazy because I didn’t have the drive to do what they did.

Everyone is different and there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to spend your weekend deep cleaning and decluttering. But it’s also not super realistic!

Being an adult now, I want to have a home that is clean (of course), but I also want it to feel cozy and lived in. I want to enjoy my slow mornings and cozy evenings. I don’t want to spend my days elbows deep in chemicals, cleaning everything in sight and getting rid of everything around me.

So this season I will be embracing a gentle spring clean and declutter. Doing what I can, when I want to, and enjoying the process.

👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

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It was a weekend full of food, and I loved it all! Lately, my weekends have consisted of time at home, naps, and maybe some takeout if we are feeling too lazy to cook. We haven’t been frequenting restaurants as much as usual. Thanks, pregnancy! However, this weekend was my dad’s birthday, and we had friends in town visiting, so food was a must! Had the best pulled pork mac and cheese omg 😋 and my favourite pasta from Kings Tap (spicy vodka rigatoni). Can you tell I’m a pasta girl??

Something about me is that no matter what my routines look like or what’s on my to-do list, I will make time for something delicious. Yummy pasta dinners, sweet treats, or just a warm drink. Food is a comfort to me that easily fits into parts of my cozy routines.

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This letter is a quiet companion to a post I shared on the blog. Where the blog post offers ideas and structure, this space is more for my personal thoughts and in-between reflections that never made it to the blog post.

If you haven’t read it yet, the blog post is 30 Ways To Make Your Evenings Cozier. It has some great ideas for cozy nights and living a cozier lifestyle. Give it a read if you’d like!

I wanted to share some of my favourite cozy routines that I do on a regular basis. The cozy lifestyle is something I am always striving for. I realized that the hustle and bustle is not for me, even though I live in a small city that seems to constantly require hustling and bustling… the reality is, you can do small cozy things that make life feel a lot slower, more intentional, and relaxing, even if your whole life is not that way.

Here are some of the ways I fit coziness into my routines:

1- My slow mornings:

I like to wake up a little earlier than necessary before work so I don’t have to rush around. I wake up, turn on a YouTube video, get cozy on the couch with some cold water, and slowly do my makeup. It’s slow, mindless, and helps me wake up without immediately jarring my nervous system.

Lately, I’ve been reading some Substack articles at this time too. However, if the screen feels too much, I just put it away. Whatever feels right at the time.

2- My bedtime routine:

Because I typically get up early, I usually go to bed early. After dinner, I have a nice warm shower, get ready for bed, and then grab my book. I read in bed for a while with some cozy ambiance playing on the TV. It’s so simple but so cozy and really helps me wind down after the day.

3- Warm drinks and sweet treats:

I’m not really a coffee drinker, but I love having a warm drink when I get to work. I grab a french vanilla or hot chocolate often on my way in so that when I am checking my morning emails or catching up with my co-workers, I have something warm in my hands. It makes the whole experience much better and a bit cozier.

I also like to have a sweet treat daily. That often happens after dinner while hanging out on the couch with my husband. We turn the light down low, get cozy, watch a show or just chit chat, and I have something yummy (lately have enjoyed Kit Kat ice cream bars).

4- YouTube ambiance:

I hate a quiet home. Years ago, I came across these wonderful ambient scenes on YouTube. Coffee shops, picturesque landscapes, cozy living rooms, and so on. They make them for every season and even have some that go along with books (lots of ACOTAR). I love to have these on during the day when I’m cleaning, reading, writing, or just relaxing and don’t want to watch anything. If I have a work-from-home day or it’s the weekend, you can guarantee I will have it on first thing in the morning to set the mood and leave it all day.

5- 10 minute tidy:

I like to have the main spaces of my house tidy. Not necessarily clean, but tidy from clutter because clutter makes my brain crazy. I take 10 minutes a day to just put some things away. Sometimes that is clearing the counters in the kitchen, putting some laundry away or gathering all the random cups from around the house into the sink. It’s much easier to feel relaxed and cozy when your space is clear.

6- Weekend rituals:

There are a few things I like to do for fun that fall into that cozy girl aesthetic. Browsing book stores, visiting cafes, wandering Home Sense, and engaging in self-care. I don’t necessarily do all of those things every weekend but I do make time to do at least one. Sometimes that looks like a Saturday morning bookstore browse with a warm drink or maybe a warm bath with my book. Whatever it is, I like to take that time by myself to do something fun and cozy.

7- Leftover bananas:

This is not an every week thing, but at least once a month. I will buy a bunch of 6 bananas, and without fail, I will eat 3, and the last 3 will get too mushy for my liking. So now, I just anticipate that and I eat the first 3 and then wait for the last 3 to get a little mushy and make banana muffins! I love to have baked goods on hand, and banana muffins are so easy.

8- Daily writing:

I like to write (duh), but sometimes I really overthink it. I come up with reasons why the situation isn’t perfect or overthink the topic I want to write about. So, I started to challenge myself with daily writing. I either work on an article (like this one), write a note for Substack, or write a quick journal entry. Not too much thought, just write. I like how it’s getting me out of my head and reflecting on my day. I tend to gravitate towards diary-type writing, but often think no one cares about it. However, doing it more often to either publish or just keep in my journal for my own eyes has turned into a fun little routine that I can do in bed, on my phone, or whenever, really.

While I’m writing this, my cat, Luna, is all curled up on a chair beside me, looking out the front window. She is actually a big inspiration for the cozy lifestyle. I mean, she is a cat, so they are often pretty cozy creatures, but I just love observing her and how she lives her perfect little life. Lots of naps, food whenever she wants, long periods of time just watching things (birds, people, the wind blowing the trees)... I wish that humans could be a little more like cats.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my cozy routines and maybe will add some coziness into your own daily routines as well. If you are food-motivated like me and Luna (lol), I hope you can find something warm and yummy to add to your routines. I will be brainstorming ways to fit that pulled pork mac and cheese into a new cozy routine… maybe a monthly mac and cheese outing!! I can see it now. Seems like the perfect cozy routine to me.

Until next time,

Deanna

👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

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It was early in the morning on Saturday when I dragged myself out of bed and got ready to go to the grocery store. A super normal weekend errand, but not one I was particularly looking forward to. I knew my list was long. I had to get all the food for my baby shower the following day. In my 3rd trimester, I put on some comfy clothes, ate breakfast, and tried to mentally prepare for my outing.

I was exhausted when I got back home and by the time I had unloaded the food and did the inevitable fridge clean out, the couch was screaming my name. I gave in and had a nap because I knew I had a long day ahead of prepping food, cleaning, and eventually, decorating.

In times like these, it would be easy to get frustrated with myself for not pushing through and getting things done. I could call myself lazy for taking so many breaks. But the reality is, I was proud of myself!

I was proud that I made it through a long and tedious grocery shop. I was proud that I carried all the groceries in, even though I was tired and had to make several trips. I was proud that I took the time to throw out all the expired and unwanted things in the fridge before collapsing on the couch. Those were all wins! Thinking back now, I could also be proud that I got myself ready for the day instead of just throwing my hair in a bun. I was even proud of letting myself rest and recharge before tackling the rest of my to-do list.

Long ago, I decided to celebrate small wins and to be proud of the little things. Life gets a little sad when you only care about the big accomplishments because they don’t happen as often!

It’s also a mindset shift! From constantly criticizing, downplaying, and negativity to encouragement, positivity, and confidence!

There is something really special about cheering yourself on. When you acknowledge those little things you do that aren’t always easy, but you did anyway. Or when you pat yourself on the back for a job well done, when others don’t think twice about it. Over time, the way you talk to yourself, think about yourself, and celebrate yourself changes. I truly believe that being proud of yourself, even for the little things, builds confidence. Being proud of yourself reminds you that you follow through, you try, and you can trust yourself to do it again.

If this all feels easier said than done, I get it. Changing how you think is never easy and never happens overnight. I’m no professional, but I have spent a lot of time trying to improve little things about myself, so I have a few tips.

Tips if you need help being proud of yourself for the small stuff:

• Find one thing every day to feel proud about. It could be accomplishing something at work, making a delicious meal, remembering to do something you keep forgetting, or anything else!

• Talk to yourself! It sounds silly, but it helps a lot to actually tell yourself you feel proud! You could do this in the moment (“proud of you [name] for doing that thing”) or later on when reflecting (“I feel proud of myself for doing that thing”). I honestly talk to myself a lot and found referring to myself by my name really helped, especially when I was working through my anxiety (driving anxiety and would always tell myself how proud I was for getting in the car, driving on certain roads, making it to my destination, etc.).

• Acknowledge the feelings you get when you do the small things. Does it feel good to tick something off your to-do list? Are you happy after you completed your workout? Start paying attention to the feelings you get throughout the day. When you get those feelings, be proud of yourself for whatever came before it.

• Make an “I did it” list! We often focus on the negatives and remember bad times more than the good times. Whenever you accomplish something, big or small, write it down somewhere. You can look back on it when you need a reminder of all the amazing, wonderful things you’ve done and why you should feel so proud of yourself.

I sit here writing this on another Saturday. It was less busy, more relaxing. I went for a walk this morning with a delicious cinnamon dolce latte in hand. Something I often do is order a coffee and then take all day to drink it (oops), so this time I ordered a small one. I finished it before getting home. That’s a win! Proud of me.

It really is that simple to find little tiny things to be proud of. Small actions that are almost unnoticeable but mean a lot when you take the time to see them.

I’m not perfect (no one is), and there is a lot I’m not super proud of in life. However, I make a very big effort to focus on the things I am proud of and let the rest go, and you know what, that is something else I am proud of. I’ll add it to my list.

Until next time,

Deanna

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👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

Thankfully, it wasn’t a bad fall and all is well but man, talk about embarrassing!!

Other things that have humbled me include:

• Getting out of bed (literally have to roll like a large seal)

• Putting my socks on (not always possible anymore)

• Standing for too long (my feet become balloons)

• Walking up the stairs in my house (it’s like I ran a marathon)

• My regular leggings are no longer cutting it because they keep riding down so low on my belly (it’s not a good look)

If I can take one thing away from the month of February, it is: you need to laugh at yourself sometimes. Even if it doesn’t feel funny at the time. Even if it’s embarrassing. If you can’t laugh, you might cry. So, may as well try to find some humor in this little thing called life.

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What has worked in February: The nursery is really coming together! I am obsessed with how it’s looking and how well all the pieces are matching. I’m usually not the best with decorating but my vision is truly coming to light!!

What has not worked in February: Getting organized around the house has been hard. I know what needs to happen but I’m so tired after work. My husband does what he can but I really want to be part of a lot of the things. The pantry is half organized, there are boxes and bags full of things that need to be donated that haven’t been, all the baby clothes are sitting around, even though I have drawer organizers… it’s procrastination station over here.

Reading:

I’m still reading through the Zodiac Academy series! I’m obsessed. This series is such a Rollercoaster. The amount of times I’ve hated a character and then loved them and then kinda hated them again just to turn around and be OBSESSED with them… I’m flying though then. Currently reading book 6 (Fated Throne).

I also read Deep End by Ali Hazelwood. It was good! The romance was definitely romancing lol for sure a spicy read 🌶🌶🌶🌶 I rated it 4 / 5!

Watching:

We have officially finished Young Sheldon! Gosh, I loved that show. I would like to rewatch The Big Bang Theory now.

We actually watched a movie this month! We watched Roofman. I went in blind so I didn’t know how serious and sad it would be. But also kinda funny and silly just given the situation. Channing Tatum was great in it. I can’t believe it was based on a true story. I laughed a little during the end credits because the real Roofman was unhinged for the decisions he made lol.

Eating:

I bought a crockpot recently and cooked a roast in it. It turned out so yummy. Literally melt in your mouth!

I also tried a new recipe! This apple crisp loaf was soooo delicious. If you like apple pie/crisp, you need to try this.

Doing:

I’ve been trying to take more pictures lately. Nothing perfect, just pictures in the moment. This was mentioned during January’s Note when I said I was interested in doing photography walks. I will say there have been times I forgot to get my phone out and snap some pictures but when I have remembered, I’ve taken some fun pictures. I want to keep doing this moving forward!

Loving:

I have two things I’m really loving this month. One, shopping at Bulk Barn. I’ve always known about Bulk Barn but I really haven’t gone much. I picked up some candy for my baby shower and the prices are amazing!!! I will be getting all of my candy and chocolate from now on!

The second being these maternity leggings from Amazon. These are basically Lulumelons but half the price. I was skeptical but they fit great, feel buttery soft, and come in lots of colors and lengths!

I only have a couple more weeks of work before I am off for maternity leave! I am so excited to get a break from work and get prepped for baby’s arrival. It’s hard to do all the things while working full-time.

Part of me has already been making lists. A list of things I want to do before baby comes. A list of meals to meal prep and freeze. A list of home tasks to get done. A list of exercises and stretches to start. A list of all the food and drinks and activities to do after 36 weeks to prep my body for delivery.

On one hand, I want to do all of those things and be prepared and organized and ready. On the other hand, I know I need to slow down. I need to enjoy this time without creating a million things for myself to do.

It’s really easy to watch videos on social media and see all of these women who have the perfect pregnancy routines and exercise daily and make all of these amazing birth prep recipes. The reality is, it’s not necessary. I keep reminding myself that women have been having babies since the beginning of time without all of these things. I just need to do what I can and accept that whatever is going to happen, will happen.

I think the one thing I really want to do is freeze some meals. That will be my priority when I’m off work and the rest will happen if I feel like it!

Life has this way of forcing you to slow down when you need it. I think I’ve been humbled enough this past month to realize that I can’t do it all anymore. No reason to keep adding to my list.

Until next time,

Deanna

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** A small note: some links in this letter may be affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase through them at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!

There is something about this season of life that is calling me to look at my home differently. I’ve been craving more colour, more texture, and overall just something cozier. I don’t want to do a whole revamp, and frankly, I can’t afford to do it. But I want the cozy feelings in my mind to reflect the space I’m in.

We bought a new house in 2024, and I absolutely love it! Everything is so bright and white. It feels really clean and spacious. Those are things we definitely wanted in a home. The big white walls feel like a fresh start and a clean slate for anything we want to do.

One thing we picked that I adore is our kitchen island. The cabinets underneath are green! Green is one of my favourite colours. It adds a pop of colour to the space and has given us that kind of earthy, calming feeling.

I think that I figured with the green island I’d be able to bring so much personality and coziness to the whole house, but really, we haven’t done much past that! Turns out I’m not an interior decorator, and all those cute Pinterest pictures are hard to recreate.

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This letter is a quiet companion to a post I shared on the blog. Where the blog post offers ideas and structure, this space is more for my personal thoughts and in-between reflections that never made it to the blog post.

If you haven’t read it yet, the blog post is Cozy Kitchen Ideas That Make Cooking More Fun. I share a bunch of super fun and cozy ideas/ products for making your kitchen a cozy paradise! Give it a read if you’d like!

But recently, something has changed. We have started decorating the nursery, and all of a sudden, all of those cute, homey, and warm vibes are coming together in there. I’m in love with how the nursery is turning out.

Decorating that room has felt joyful. Choosing wallpaper (who am I???), hanging shelves and mirrors, bringing texture and mismatched woods into the room… It’s a little cozy paradise inside our otherwise very white home. Everything we have been adding is intentional, and it all goes together in its own way, but it’s so imperfectly perfect and the exact feeling I want the whole house to feel like.

I think I’ve just been too afraid to make any “drastic” changes. When everything is new and pretty, it almost feels wrong to touch it.

But something else I’ve realized is that when I walk into the nursery, I feel at ease. I want to spend time in there. I want to curl up on the rocking chair and read a book or just look out the window at the world. Even my cat likes being in there!

It’s inspiring me to actually make some changes to the rest of the house.

These are some ideas or things I’d like to do to make my home more cozy:

• Rugs! I want to add an area rug to the living room and dining room. Also, maybe a small carpet runner in the picture or just something soft and cozy to stand on

• Pictures on the walls. I have added a couple of pictures in the living room, but that’s it. It would be nice to get some photos printed and maybe do a gallery wall somewhere

• Built-in shelves in the living room. There is space to get some built-in shelves put in on each side of the fireplace. For now, we just have a couple of IKEA cabinets that mostly fit the space, but they could look a lot nicer and be more functional.

• New side tables in the bedroom. We got a new bedframe when we moved in, and it’s so cozy, but the side tables are small and so plain. I’d love to get some oak colored or just a natural wood tone and have bigger ones.

• New couch throw pillows. Something to bring some extra colour and warmth would be ideal!

• An accent wall. Not sure where, but it has been discussed as a possibility in the bedroom, doing a wooden dowel wall (not sure what it’s actually called).

• More plants! I am a plant murderer, so I know that I need to get some fake ones. I have a cute little fake tree in my office, and I love how it looks. Would love to have some around the house and maybe up higher on some cabinets hanging down. Very whimsical.

• Make a cute little top of the stairs area with a big mirror, console table, and some décor.

• End of the bed bench. Those are so cute and cozy and would give us a little extra storage for some blankets and pillows.

• More lamps. I don’t love overhead lighting, but that’s kind of all we have. There are two small lamps in the living room, which are nice, but some other lighting solution would be nice. Maybe a bigger floor lamp or something.

• Curtains in the living room. We have very high ceilings in the living room with a couple of sets of windows. The curtains would need to be about 18(ish) feet, so it would be a big job. I’d love to have some big curtains though! It would make the space feel extra soft.

These projects can’t be done all at once, but I would really like to start incorporating some of them into the house.

The home is where the heart is, ultimately, so it’s not like making these changes will make me a happier and totally new person. I do think that it would make me feel cozy, and at the end of the day, what I want is to come home from a long day at work and look around and feel calm, soft, and cozy.

Until next time,

Deanna

👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

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Every year, I create an “ultimate list of new book releases” post on my blog, Life By Deanna. It’s so fun to make, and I won’t lie, my TBR grows to unreachable lengths every time. Did I read all the wonderful books I added back in 2025? No. Will that stop me from adding even more this year? Absolutely not.

I saw someone say that reading books and book shopping are two separate hobbies and I have to agree. I would add that browsing books and adding them to your never ending TBR is another hobby too!

So, come with me, friend, on this journey of discovering new book releases for 2026 and dreaming about all the stories you can get lost in this year!

January 2026:

A Killer Kind of Romance by Letizia Lorini - Pub date: Jan 13, 2026

Scarlett Moore doesn’t do romance; she narrates true crime. But when murders start mirroring her podcast cases, and her long-lost love Rafael reappears… she’s caught between danger and desire. Can she solve the crimes without falling for the prime suspect?

I love romance with a mystery element. The desire to figure out the mystery or who the murderer is, while also following a romantic storyline and thinking, “Is the romantic interest the bad guy???” Always a fun time!

The Elsewhere Express by Samantha Sotto Yambao - Pub date: Jan 20, 2026

Raya had given up on her dreams after her brother’s death until the elusive Elsewhere Express appeared, carrying lost souls to a place of purpose and belonging. On a train full of wonders, she meets Q, a fellow wanderer, and together they uncover a stowaway harbouring dark magic. As they face danger and unravel the train’s secrets, Raya must confront the biggest question of all: what is her true purpose and could Q be part of it?

The cover pulled me in initially, and then the synopsis gave me such cozy vibes. This is giving TJ Klune vibes and I love his books so much. It feels like one of those stories that will be heartwarming but also has enough going on to be more than just a fluffy feel-good story.

February 2026:

Operation Bounce House by Matt Dinniman - Pub date: Feb 10, 2026

All Oliver Lewis wants is a quiet life on his family’s ranch on New Sonora until Earth reopens contact and decides to evict the colonists. When a mega-corporation turns the invasion into a remote-controlled war game, Oliver and his friends must fight back against machines piloted by paying gamers, using ingenuity, old knowledge, and whatever spare parts they can find to defend their home.

I was so surprised to see a new book from Matt Dinniman! I am working my way through the Dungeon Crawler Carl series (which I looove). So, I knew this would be added to my TBR immediately. It’s funny because the actual synopsis doesn’t sound like something I’d normally pick up but since I love the other series so much I want to give it a try.

Agnes Aubert’s Mystical Cat Shelter by Heather Fawcett - Pub date: Feb 17, 2026

Agnes Aubert runs her life and a cat rescue with meticulous order. But when she relocates the shelter, she discovers her new landlord is a failed Dark Lord using her charity as cover for an illegal magic shop. When enemies from his past threaten both the shop and the cats, Agnes must decide whether to protect the shelter and the man who once tried to end the world and might just steal her heart.

Cat shelter, dark lord, romance? Say less! I’m obsessed with the cover, the title, and the concept.

March 2026:

The Quiet Light by Casey Blair - Pub date: Mar 10, 2026

Yora awoke after 500 years of magical stasis to help a hunted dragon shifter, but she just wants a quiet life with Zan and endless ice cream. When dark forces threaten her home, Yora must wield her destructive powers to protect her found family…and maybe find a way to stay with Zan forever.

The concept of this sounds very interesting. Sci-fi is a newer genre for me but I think this is giving cozy sci-fi. It looks like the perfect book to dip your toes into.

The Faraway Inn by Sarah Beth Durst - Pub date: Mar 31, 2026

After a breakup derails her summer, sixteen-year-old Calisa escapes to a Vermont bed-and-breakfast only to find a rundown inn, an unwelcoming great-aunt, and something strangely magical beneath the surface. As she helps restore the place, Calisa uncovers secrets that could threaten the home she’s grown to love.

Sarah Beth Durst is one of my faves!! I like to pick up a YA book from time to time and this one sounds really good. I read The Spellshop and fell in love so I just know this will be a win for me.\

April 2026:

The Escape Game by Marissa Meyer and Tamara Moss - Pub date: Apr 7, 2026

Season five of The Escape Game is underway, six months after a contestant was murdered on set. Among the new players is Sierra Angelos, blamed for her sister’s death and determined to uncover the truth. As clues point to the real killer, the game turns deadly, and solving the mystery may be the only way to survive.

I am a mystery girl through and through! Anything with puzzles, riddles, or some kind of murder mystery is my jam.

The Paris Match by Kate Clayborn - Pub date: Apr 7, 2026

Recently divorced physician Layla Bailey accepts an invitation to a Paris wedding only to face old memories, her ex’s new date, and a mess she accidentally creates. Forced to team up with the groom’s brooding best man to save the wedding, Layla finds herself confronting past heartbreak and risking her heart again.

First off, I love a Paris setting! Second, I love an enemies to lovers romance or grumpy/sunshine romance. Also, higher risk settings like a wedding are always fun because what kind of chaos is going to happen!! I live for the drama.

May 2026:

The Daisy Chain Flower Shop by Laurie Gilmore - Pub date: May 5, 2026

Daisy’s flower shop is rumoured to be cursed after too many doomed weddings, and newcomer Elliot wants no part of that bad luck. But when he needs flowers for a family visit, the two cross paths and discover that love can bloom when you least expect it.

All these Laurie Gilmore books are soooo popular online. I’ve read The Pumpkin Spice Cafe, The Cinnamon Bun Bookstore, and The Christmas Tree Farm. Loved them all! So this is a must read for me!

Spies, Lies, and Alibis by Natalie Walters - Pub date: May 19, 2026

Cybil Langford is deep undercover, gathering intel on a ruthless crime boss, until Ben Bradley, her first crush and now an FBI agent, walks back into her life. Forced to work together against deadly criminals, their covers and hearts are on the line, and trust is a luxury they can’t afford.

This is probably not even accurate but my initial thoughts when reading the synopsis was this feels like James Bond meets rom com! I love spy movies (James Bond, Mission Impossible, etc) so this is up my alley for sure.

June 2026:

Harvest Season by Brynne Weaver - Pub date: Jun 9, 2026

Cape Carnage is brimming with secrets, and Nolan Rhodes can’t escape them. As true crime fanatics swarm the town, missing people resurface, and Harper’s hidden past is exposed, loyalties are tested, bonds break, and love becomes the deadliest trap of all.

I must admit I haven't read the first one in this series yet BUT I will asap! I loooooved Brynne Weaver's last series (Ruinous Love trilogy). Her books are so out of my comfort zone but I just adore them. Serial killer romances have a place in my heart now thanks to Brynne lol.

Scandal of the Summer by Alexandra Vasti - Pub date: Jun 23, 2026

Heiress Ruby Ballimore escapes London’s Marriage Mart for a holiday in Cornwall, only to find a derelict mansion and the rakish con artist Captain Malcolm Archer. As schemes and sparks collide, Ruby and Archer discover that in this game of deception, falling in love may be the riskiest move of all.

Historical romance is such a fun genre. I think this will be the perfect summer read and I am super looking forward to reading it on the patio with a little girly drink, pretending to live in my own London mansion.

There are even more 2026 book releases on Life By Deanna. I shared a blog post recently with so many good releases (these are just some of my personal favourites). You can give it a read here.

I want to know your thoughts! Do any of these books spark your interest? Do you have any new releases on your radar? My TBR doesn’t need to get longer but I love adding to it anyways!

Until next time,

Deanna

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👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

The month of love is here! I know there are mixed feelings on Valentine’s Day, and I get it. Why do we put so much emphasis on romantic relationships when really, there are so many types of relationships? Growing up, Valentine’s Day was celebrated by my whole family. It wasn’t just a day when my dad got flowers for my mom. My parents often got me chocolates or a card just to remind me that I’m loved. That has always stuck with me because as an adult, I like to celebrate Valentine’s Day with many people.

Last year, I started a bit of a tradition at work. My team had a Palentine’s Day celebration (for pals lol) and it was a hit. Everyone brought something and we had lots of sweet treats over lunch together. I hosted another Palentine’s Day event with my friends, which was also a hit. There were decorations and we did it pajama party style.

Besides showing your partner, family, and friends that you love them, another relationship that gets looked over during February is self-love.

I would argue this is the most important type of love because if you can’t love yourself, how will you love others?

The problem is that self-love is hard, especially when you are younger. No one really loves who they are when they are teenagers and in your 20’s, it’s hard too because so much is changing… it can be hard to even know who you are. There is a lot of comparison between friends, moving away from family, and sometimes changing into a new person you don’t really know if you love.

When I turned 25, I swear my body changed overnight. It was so hard to keep weight off no matter what I did. My usual meals were turning into too much food. One night of drinking with friends turned into a two day hangover. I was bloated like all the time. I remember thinking, whose body is this? It can’t be mine!

The harsh reality I learned in my late 20’s is that aging happens and it sneaks up on you a lot earlier than you think. It’s not a bad thing and truly, I love getting older. What an honor! However, when the changes happen, it can be really hard to accept and when you look around at your peers, you may not see the same changes happening. Lots of comparison, judging (yourself and others), and honestly, disliking the new you.

When I turned 30, I was worried that my love and acceptance of getting older would change. That not being in my 20’s anymore would maybe be a slap to the face.

Instead, my 30’s brought a sense of calm. It was like I finally understood who I was and started to love her. There are still things I don’t love and want to change. I am human after all. But with my new age, I feel at peace. I have let go of who I was and accept who I am and who I’m becoming.

It’s a freeing feeling!

So, how has self-love changed in my 30s?

In my 20’s, I would have told you self-love is about practicing self-care. It would have been kind of surface-level and I think that’s because I didn’t really love myself. Not truly.

Now in my 30’s, self-love has a bit of a different meaning and the way I actually practice it is different too.

This is what it looks like now:

Slow mornings without a strict schedule

I love slow mornings now. I set my alarm well before I need to, so I can just relax. There is no more rushing around and trying to cram everything into the wee hours of the morning. I allow my mornings to be filled with whatever I want that day. Whether I want to just scroll on my phone, watch YouTube, read a book, go for a walk… It’s not structured and it’s meant to be time just for me.

Reading before bed

Reading has been a favorite hobby of mine for a very long time. It’s the way I relax, practice self-care, and now, a way to show myself some love. There are no rules when it comes to my reading time. I just grab a book and get into bed and read. Simple! Who cares what genre or if it’s making me smarter or if it’s the most popular new release… whatever sparks my interest is being read!

** I wrote a whole post about reading for my heart so give that a read too **

Giving myself grace when I’m tired

There used to be an urgency to my life that forced me to push through whenever I felt tired, sick, or just off. A schedule to keep up with, imaginary deadlines set… There was a bit of judgment if I decided to sleep in or have a nap after work. Not anymore. I give myself grace when my body needs it. I love the body I have that allows me to do everything I do. Sometimes it needs a little extra rest and that’s okay! It doesn’t make me less than, lazy, or behind. Sometimes you really just need to skip the workout and have a nap.

Not trying to look perfect all the time

When you really start to love yourself, you will notice a shift in the way you present yourself. Where before you thought your hair had to be done perfectly and your outfits had to match just right, now you find the beauty in not being perfect. You think you are great just the way you are. If there’s a little curl in your hair, it’s kind of cute. You may trade your crop tops in for a regular shirt because that looks nice, too. There is a sense of acceptance in who you are and what you look like.

Having stronger boundaries with time and energy

I am not the person who will tell you to “say no to anything that you don’t want to do.” I think that creates really poor relationships. However, you don’t need to say yes to everything. I have created stronger boundaries when it comes to events I attend and the energy that I put into things. For example, I used to chase people around if they ignored me or put in so much effort into friendships that weren’t really mutual. Now, that won’t happen. I’ve realized that I am worth more than that! If a person can’t answer my text after a few days, I’m not following up. Self-love is having self-respect and knowing your worth.

Taking time to appreciate the moment I am in

I love setting goals but I also love to slow down and smell the flowers. There is beauty in the now. There will always be something to work towards. There won’t always be time to enjoy the time you have right now. The messy middle, the learning along the way, the small milestones you achieve before the big win.

Not forcing things that don’t bring me joy

This Substack is the perfect example of this point! I have a blog that I normally love and get so much joy from. Lately, things have shifted and my overall enjoyment has diminished. I still want to show up for my blog so I am, but it looks different now. Instead of weekly blog posts, it’s bi-weekly or even monthly. More effort is being put into Substack because I honestly enjoy it more! Why force something that is supposed to be fun? The same goes for workouts, books, hobbies… no more forcing things.

Comparing less

Maybe the hardest one on the list. Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. It’s hard to love yourself when you are constantly looking at others and wishing that was you. Coming to terms with the fact that everyone is in different phases of life with different incomes, goals, situations, etc., is difficult but also life-changing. When I started to look at my own life and find the good things within it and just allow myself to be happy, that is when I really started to love myself.

Self-love is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight. As you can see it took over 10 years for me to go from thinking having a bubble bath was loving myself to truly understanding that it means more than that.

This letter is a sign to love yourself this month and this Valentine’s Day instead of just focusing on romantic love.

You deserve to be treated with love and respect, not just by others, but by yourself as well. It all starts with you.

Until next time,

Deanna

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👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

Have you ever wanted to start something only to procrastinate forever because you want everything to be perfect right from the get-go? You want to have all the boxes ticked. All the questions answered. You want to be at the finish line right from the start.

I get it because I was you.

It’s very easy to look around and see other people living your dream. That might be having 100k followers or a successful business or a published book.

What you don’t see is all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into getting there. The sleepless nights, showing up when they didn’t want to, starting at literal zero.

We all know the saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and this is so cliché so forgive me, but it’s true. Even the builders of Rome started with endless dirt and nothing in sight.

It’s extremely uncommon for someone to become an overnight success. I’m not even sure it exists at all. Sure, social media has helped a lot of people get places quicker but the initial work still needed to be done.

What we don’t see enough of is the work being done. The journey from zero to one hundred and all the bumps along the way. It’s definitely not as “sexy” and it’s not easy to share those awkward in-between times (kind of like when we were 13 wearing make-up for the first time… awkward lol).

Side note: I don’t think enough people go through that weird pre-teen/teen awkward phase anymore. What happened to the crazy eyeshadow and wearing too much eyeliner? It was a right of passage and built a lot of character 😂

But there is something very respectable about letting yourself be a work in progress out loud.

Why do we feel the need to have everything figured out? When I first started my blog, Life By Deanna, I felt like I couldn’t even launch my website without multiple blog posts, the perfect brand colors, a completed about page, and making it seem like I’ve been doing this forever. First of all, it was cute that I thought anyone would even stumble across my blog in those early days. Second of all, four years later, I have changed so many things on my website and nothing horrible happened. It didn’t change all the good I’ve created.

As time goes on, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing; things will naturally evolve and change. You are always a work in progress, whether you want to admit it or not. So, the question we must ask is, why do we think we can skip the beginning and jump to the picture-perfect end?

I think it’s because of the lack of sharing people do. They overshare their successes and hide the failures. Not many people talk about how many articles they posted on Substack before they “blew up.” Or how many years it took to finally get that diet and exercise routine to work. Or how many times they were rejected before that big, magical yes!

And we are all guilty of this. It’s human nature to shy away from the negative but I also think we need to change our mindsets around failure and the journey to get where we want to be.

Showing the world that you are starting something new and that it’s not perfect or that you’re learning as you go is a strength! Showing the messy middle is your origin story, your journey to Mordor, your perfectly timed training montage.

For example, I have watched Tess Barclay on YouTube and on social media for years. She has been very vocal about starting her YouTube channel as a teenager and posting makeup tutorials and reviews. Was it good content? Probably not. Was it real and authentically her? Absolutely! Over the years, her content has changed and evolved. She has tried different things and while some things worked, others didn’t. She very publicly shared her plans to start a business and that has also changed and evolved into what it is today. I respect her so much for documenting her journey and not hiding those flop moments. And when I see her share some good news, I’m like “hell ya” because I’ve seen her at all those different stages.

All of this to say, let yourself be a work in progress. Post before it’s perfect. Start without a fully fleshed-out plan. Learn as you go.

Stop holding yourself to a literal impossible standard. We are all just starting with endless dirt and nothing in sight.

To continue to encourage you to be a work in progress, here are some things you can do:

• Publicly share your journey (post monthly updates, share your goals with everyone, be honest about your highs and lows)

• Change your mind without explaining it

• Stop announcing your next version (you don’t need to tell everyone what you’re becoming before you get there)

• Embrace inconsistency. Growth doesn’t look the same everyday and that’s okay.

• Drop the timelines. Progress has no end goal.

• Allow unfinished chapters (not everything needs closure before you move on)

• Celebrate effort (get a cake for showing up for a year, for sending 100 emails, for publishing 50 blog posts)

I love a person in the trenches who shows up anyways.

I love seeing when someone’s account grows after months and months of posting to the void.

I love an underdog story and when they finally come out on top.

*cue the dodgeball training montage*

Because there is nothing more human than sharing the journey with your fellow humans on their own journeys 🤍

Until next time,

Deanna

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Regardless, it’s never a fun feeling when you are excited and full of ideas but the creative juices stop flowing.

My word for 2026 is gentle so with that, I’ve been trying to go easy on myself. If creating doesn’t feel right on the day I had planned to create… that’s okay! I’ll read a book instead. Or bake some muffins. Or go for a walk. It’s all good.

This month has taught me that taking breaks or simply doing nothing is not a bad thing. You can’t force yourself to do things (well, you can, but it takes the fun out of it). When I set my goals for the year, none of them included the feeling of force. I’m realizing that you can literally only push your body so far.

Before pregnancy, I could push through a lot. Workouts when I’m tired, cooking when all I want is to order takeout, writing blog posts when I’m craving sleep. Some naive part of me thought that would still be possible. Maybe for some people it is. I’m finding that I need a lot more grace these days and I’m giving it to myself. No shame, no guilt.

And what a wonderful lesson to learn in January 🤍

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What has worked in January: loose meal plans and easy snacks. For some reason, it’s been soooo hard to stick to a meal plan lately. So, picking 2-3 meals for the week and making them as easy as possible has helped. Same with snacks! If I have to prep my snack I’m not going to eat it… so having some pre-made healthy snack options or just easy things like berries has been working well.

What has not worked in January: house projects. There have been a few small projects on my to-do list for a while (reorganizing the pantry, cleaning out the tupperware drawer, and getting a cute spice rack with bottles that all match). I keep thinking about doing them but I just can’t bring myself to do it… Also, the nursery needs to be dealt with and even though I’m so excited about it, I just don’t do it.

Reading:

The month of January has been great for reading! I’ve been working my way through the Zodiac Academy series. I have read the first 4 books and am waiting on the 5th to arrive!

I also read I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I’m Trapped in a Rom-Com which was okay. I ended up rating it 2/5 ⭐ Some people really enjoyed this book, but I just couldn’t get over the fact that the main character was literally abducted by aliens and experienced some really crazy things and it seemed like she wasn’t even a little upset about the possibility of never seeing her loved ones again… I know it’s just a made-up story but she was just too chill about the whole thing

Watching:

I really don’t watch a lot of TV, but recently have been binge-watching Young Sheldon. It’s so cute and entertaining. Both me and my husband are obsessed! Other than that, I watch YouTube! Here are a few of my favorite YouTube videos from January…

• Peruse Project - korea & japan travel vlog +! haul (shopping, vibes, and eating!)

• Squirrels At the Window

• Mia Maples - Testing Shark Tank Products *self cleaning water bottle?!*

Eating:

I’ve been eating a lot, not going to lie. Here are some of my favourites from the month…

• Bagels and cream cheese, specifically cheese bagels with herb and garlic cream cheese

• Pasta with Italian sausage (we have been smoking the sausage and it’s delish)

• Banana muffins!! I’ve been using this recipe.

• Blueberries seem to be a new pregnancy craving. Although it’s not like I’m dying to have them… more like if I do have them, I can’t stop eating them. Not sure if that’s normal haha

Doing:

I am prepping for my baby shower! I love to throw parties and host themed events so I knew I was going to loooove planning my baby shower. Some people say you shouldn’t plan your own baby shower, but I really wanted to. The theme is “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and I’m going to do lots of pinks, whites, silvers, and golds. Super looking forward to decorating and getting all the food together. Will I have the energy? That is a bridge to cross another day!

Loving:

My nails are honestly destroyed from getting them done for basically 2 years without a break… oops. So, now I use fake press-on nails from time to time. I love the OPI press-ons. They actually last a long time and don't cost very much. Win-win!

Something I’ve noticed about myself is that I don’t take a lot of pictures unless I am taking them for a social media post. I don’t like that. Other than about a million pictures of my cat, there is so little being documented in my life. The idea of slowing down and smelling roses is kind of the premise of 2026 for me, yet January has gone by with almost no photos.

I was reading Hannah Bay’s (Midnight Crumbs) post and I loved the idea of photography walks! I want to document the little things in life. The sunrise, even when the camera doesn’t do it justice. The yummy food I eat. The progress of the nursery. The frosty grass in the morning. Maybe even a few pictures of myself that aren’t trying to be perfect for the gram!

In February, that will be my goal. Living in the moment but also taking a minute to snap a few pictures when it feels picture-worthy. Also, realizing that anything is picture worthy if you want it to be!

Maybe you’ll see some of these pictures next month. That could be a good way to hold myself accountable for doing this. Snap some pictures and share a few with you! We will see where the month takes me. The goal is not to feel forced. The goal is to just enjoy it. So, I will do what feels right in my heart! I can only hope that it brings some of my creativity back. Get those creative juices flowing again ☺️

Until next time,

Deanna

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** A small note: some links in this letter may be affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase through them at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!

My workday consists of putting out many fires (not literal ones, thankfully). Everyday people are experiencing crisis after crisis and looking to me to help them sort it out. From last-minute evictions to food shortages to having their children taken away, the emergencies never stop, and therefore, neither do I. That is the life of a child protection support worker.

When the day ends and I walk to my car it takes some time for my body to realize we are done. The 45-minute commute home is step one of the evening wind-down, even though traffic is anything but relaxing. It triggers my brain into seeing that the endless problems have come to an end until tomorrow. I would be lying though, if I said my brain actually took that information and used it accordingly.

Most days, I find myself pretty wound up. I can literally feel the tension in my body. My heart pumping, my breathing heavy, my brain spiraling. The hamster making my brain work is sprinting as fast as it can. The thing is, when you are busy all day fixing other people’s problems, your own problems don’t go away. They just reemerge later. I don’t have someone helping me put out my own fires. That is a different hat I put on once I’m done working for the day. And that is just life. There isn’t too much you can do about it!

However, finding calm after your workday is critical for living a balanced (sort of?), well-adjusted, and happy life.

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This letter is a quiet companion to a post I shared on the blog. Where the blog post offers ideas and structure, this space is more for my personal thoughts and in-between reflections that never made it to the blog post.

If you haven’t read it yet, the blog post is Why You Need an After-Work Routine and How to Create One. It’s a how-to post about creating a useful routine for your 5-9 to make the best of your free time. Give it a read if you’d like!

Social media is full of people sharing their routines. The ones that drive me the craziest are the morning routines (not many people have time for these Instagram 6-9 am routines before their cushy WFH job). If you do, I’m truly happy for you, but it’s not the norm. But because these types of routines pop up non-stop, it feels like they should be the norm. What’s wrong with me that I can’t fit in a full workout, healthy home-cooked breakfast, journaling session, and meditation before going to work? The answer is, I would need to start this at 4 a.m., and that is just not happening.

The same nonsense is being shown after work. The lavish, social, and active lifestyle people seem to live once they finish their workday. Again, why does my evening not look like dinner with friends, a walk at the park, and a 10-step self-care routine before bed? My brain is literally screaming, “because it’s not real!!!”

And that might be true. For most people, that is not reality and it will never be reality. That doesn’t change the fact that everyone wants to find calm at the end of their day. It’s not just a want, it’s a need, honestly.

So what’s the point I am trying to make here? We all need to stop looking outside of ourselves for the perfect routines. We need to start digging deep into our souls to figure out what makes us happy, feel relaxed, and what we can actually handle. We all have 24 hours in a day but those hours are not the same. Figuring out what you can handle after your long workday will determine how you will find your calm.

My current after-work routine:

This is the real no BS routine that I currently have. It’s not perfect at all. There are things I want to change (which I’ll share too). But for transparency sake, this is what most evenings look like for me.

5:00 pm - I get home from work. I walk in the door and leave all my shit sitting on the counter in a mess. Immediately find my cat and give her all the hugs and kisses.

5:15 pm - Sit down and scroll on my phone. I have about 15-20 minutes before my husband leaves work so I just use this time as mindless screen time. Usually with my cat by my side. I have been extra “lazy” these days because I am 7 months pregnant!

5:30 pm - Chat with my husband on the phone while he drives home from work. We like to chit-chat about our days and catch up during this time. Sometimes I’ll start dinner as he drives home but I’d be lying if I said that was the usual routine. Most of the time, I am eating a snack and waiting for him to get home to start dinner. Again, 7 months pregnant and very tired.

6/6:30 pm - Eat dinner, do a little tidying up around the kitchen, and finally put my work things away.

7:00 pm - Shower and get cozy. This is where there is some flexibility in the schedule. Some days I use this time to just relax and watch TV. We have been binging Young Sheldon lately. Other times, I feel a spark of creativity and I will work on my blog, Substack, social media content, etc. Other times I will do a hobby. It just depends on the day.

8:30 pm - Bedtime routine and head to bed! I wake up pretty early for work, so I like to be in bed on the earlier side. Normally, I read my book in bed until I’m tired but sometimes I just scroll on my phone. I don’t like that I use my phone in bed but it’s become a habit.

Something I enjoy about my current routine is all the time I have for my hobbies and activities.

Something I want to change about my routine is that I spend a lot of time on my phone or looking at a screen. I also don’t really exercise these days and even going for walks is limited because of the weather right now. I have a walking pad but I’m just not in the mood. I know part of it is due to being heavily pregnant but I also miss the movement.

Where I find my calm:

Most of my after-work routine makes me feel calm. I spend a lot of time with my husband who mellows me out. There is mindless time for my brain to just stop thinking. I have time for creativity and fun activities. I always make time for reading because it’s my favorite hobby. It’s overall just a bunch of activities that make me feel calm. It works for me right now in this season of life.

I realized after working full-time for a couple of years that I need rest. I’m not a night owl and I don’t thrive on a packed schedule. I literally need to have horizontal time (aka time to lay down lol). So, having such a chill routine really sets me up for success.

Other people may not feel the same. That is why everyone needs to look inside themselves for what they can handle and what makes them feel good. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The only wrong way is to copy others and then call yourself a failure because you can’t follow a made-up routine.

This letter is for anyone who feels like life is getting away from you. That you aren’t living up to some social media influencer’s “realistic” lifestyle. If you feel like your life is too boring or you need too much rest.

This is your sign to allow yourself to slow down. Meet yourself in the season you are in. Don’t copy other people or give in to hustle culture.

You are the only one who can put out your fires. You are the only one who will show up for you. The job you have does not define you and it does not own every hour of your day. You deserve to find your calm when you get home, whatever that looks like to you.

Until next time,

Deanna

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If you’ve spent any time on Bookstagram, Book Tok, or Book Threads, I’m sure you’ve seen how drama-filled and toxic it can be. Bookstagram used to be my favourite place to hang out. I created my own account back in 2021 and would post all sorts of pictures of the books I was reading, wanting to read, recommending… just all things books!

Somewhere along the way, the discourse around books kind of changed. There was a lot of drama with authors and the bookstagrammers who would share their books would be called out and cancelled. Some people love romantasy and others say it’s just glorified porn for women. And then, there is a whole section of bookstagram that has gone super political. I fall in the category of “I’m here for books and not all the negativity in the world that I see in the news.” Maybe I’ll get hate for that but I just want to protect my little tiny corner of the internet from the big bad real world, just for a minute.

All of that to say, things stopped being carefree and fun for me. It started to feel a little stressful. Am I reading a book by a “bookstagram approved” author? Should I not post my review of this because someone will be offended? What if all I want to read is “glorified woman porn” romantasy books? Does that make me less of a reader or a less credible reviewer?

The answer to all of those has become, who cares? But it did stop me from posting on my bookstagram and to this day, I don’t really want to use that space anymore. That’s okay, though.

The part that matters is that I am reading books I want to read, and it feels good. Lately, I’m reading to please my heart, and that’s it.

Remember back in the day when you would read a bunch of books and get a free pizza from Pizza Hut? Those were the days! Just me, a stack of Junie B Jones books, and a sunny summer day. I can’t actually remember, but I have a feeling I was eating a lot of Kraft Dinner and drinking lemonade. Honestly, that still sounds good to me.

No one judged what you read back then. We all literally DEVOURED Twilight. For me, Divergent was the series that really sparked my reading addiction.

In 2024, I made the decision that I would stop forcing myself to read contemporary fiction. I didn’t care if it was Reese Witherspoon’s top book club pick of the year… I didn’t need to read it if I wasn’t interested. I also stopped reading thrillers because they stress me out. I started reading way more fantasy and it was one of my favorite reading years. I just read whatever piqued my interest and if I liked something, I found more books like it.

Since then, I have stopped with TBR’s, keeping up with all the newest books, and reading something because it’s popular. I still love a lot of popular new books (hello, Fourth Wing series). But I’m also exploring older series and reading one-off books I find on Kobo Plus or through the library. I’m purposely seeking out books I know I will like. Life is short. Why read something that will make me feel sad, mad, or stressed?

I noticed a few things when I started reading what my heart wants:

• I was reading more books and way faster

• My star ratings were mainly in the 4’s and 5’s

• I’ve discovered the exact story formula that hooks me to a book and I can find these perfect books from a quick skim of the cover and/or synopsis

• Reviews don’t matter as much to me. Seeing a low rating or bad review doesn’t turn me off the book (most times)

• There is a deeper appreciation for a high-quality book. If you read enough similar stories, you really start to notice what good writing, strong character development, and solid plot look like

• I’ve discovered so many “new to me” authors and explored their backlists

• Reading is a joy and not a chore

So, since we are just friends chatting, I’m going to share some of the books I love and if you are into similar books to me, get ready to add these to your reading list!

In no particular order…

• Fourth Wing series by Rebecca Yarros

• A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

• Zodiac Academy series by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti

• Fortuna Sworn series by K.J. Sutton

• Promise of Darkness series by Bec McMaster

• Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

• Bride by Ali Hazelwood (haven’t read Mate yet, but I think I’ll like it!!)

• Kingdom of the Wicked series by Kerri Maniscalco

• Funny Story by Emily Henry

• Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams

• Beg, Borrow, or Steal by Sarah Adams (clearly obsessed with her)

• The True Love Bookshop by Annie Raines

• How to Love Your Neighbor by Sophie Sullivan

• Butcher & Blackbird series by Brynne Weaver

• The Thursday Murder Club series by Richard Osman

• Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson

• Finlay Donovan series by Elle Cosimano

• The Inheritance Games series by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

• The Grandest Games series by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (this is a spin-off of Inheritance Games)

• The Night Swim by Megan Goldin

• Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinniman

• Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas

• Legendborn series by Tracy Deonn

• The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst (need to read The Enchanted Greenhouse!!)

• The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

• The Secret Book of Flora Lea by Patti Callahan Henry (one of my favs of 2025)

• The Paris Library by Janet Skeslien Charles

• The Book of Lost Names by Kristin Harmel

• The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

These are some recent favourites going back to around 2021, the start of my bookstagram. I just want to say that while I was scrolling through Goodreads to double-check my list, I was shocked to see how much my reading has changed!

There was a clear divide between my reading year in 2024, when I decided to read for joy and before. When I used to get ARCs (advanced reader copies), I would be sort of forced to read whatever was sent. Looking back through my Goodreads brought me back to many books I had to painfully push through just so I could fulfil my side of the agreement.

I’m a big believer that if you read books, you are a reader. It doesn’t matter what genre they are. You could read all romance or true crime or self-help… the content doesn’t dictate if you are a true reader. You do not need to read all the literary award-winning books. You don’t need to read the classics.

This letter is your sign to pick up any book that sounds interesting to you. Then pick up another. Just keep reading to please your heart.

Until next time,

Deanna

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I have always been a goal setter. You could find me with the newest self-help book or listening to a podcast about achieving your dreams in January of any year. Being a Virgo, I think there is something ingrained in me that says “tick the boxes” and “always move forward.”

Maybe it came from having parents who never sat still for more than 5 seconds? No one ever slept in or lounged around unless they were sick! As an adult now, that’s just not me.

Don’t get me wrong, I get great joy from setting and achieving a goal. But I also just want slow, gentle, calm vibes around me at all times. While my anxiety might make me extremely punctual, I really just want to go with the flow.

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This letter is a quiet companion to a post I shared on the blog. Where the blog post offers ideas and structure, this space is more for my personal thoughts and in-between reflections that never made it to the blog post.

If you haven’t read it yet, the blog post is 33 Gentle Goals To Set For A Calm Year. It’s a list of realistic and gentle goal ideas for a slower year. Give it a read if you’d like!

Because of this personal reflection, I’ve decided that 2026 is the year I change up my goal-setting ways.

I still want a couple more concrete style goals. Things that will help me move forward with my blogging business and whatnot. But when it comes to life… It feels like it’s time to loosen things up a bit.

Here is what I’ll be focusing on this year:

1- Making movement fun 💃🏼

I want to find joy in exercising again. Working out has always been part of my life in some way. The past 6 months that has really changed. When I got pregnant, I was so sure I’d stay active but it’s been really hard. I’m giving myself grace during this incredibly wonderful, challenging time but I would love to get back into things when I can. But I want it to be fun, not a chore. Not something I just tick off my to-do list.

2- Bringing joy to everyday tasks 🧺

I’m not talking about that Instagram influencer “romanticize your life” kinda thing. I just want to make mundane moments a bit more joyful.

Things like listening to music while I clean, folding the laundry while watching a show, having fun while cooking… I feel like I used to do these things, but somewhere I stopped and doing all these tasks became punishment, and it felt like I just had to rush through them so I could move on to what actually brings me joy. I want to change that.

3- write in my journal without expectations ✍🏼

I love to write! But for some reason, journaling is hard for me to stick with. I get myself in these cycles of having to write a certain way. It’s definitely some kind of perfectionism. This year I want to bring back the old-fashioned diary. Just write about whatever, short or long, or even just a list. Who cares?? It’s only for me to see.

4- consume less content 🤳🏼

Endless scrolling on social media makes me feel gross. I know it does but I keep doing it. The doomscrolling also doesn’t help with my creativity and my own writing. It’s so easy to start comparing everything you do to others. I want to consume less and create more.

5- be the best mom I can be 🍼

This is the year I become a mom! Something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. I know life is about to turn completely upside down, but despite that, I want to just be the best I can be, whatever that looks like during each season. It’s vague and it’s meant to be that way!

I think my word of the year is going to be gentle.

I want to be gentle to myself, live a slower lifestyle, and surround myself with calmness and love.

If you’re setting goals right now, I hope you choose ones that feel light and kind. The type of goals that are supportive and not draining. And if you aren’t ready to set goals yet, that’s okay too.

We’re not into rushing things over here after all 🤍

Until next time,

Deanna

👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

I wanted to take a moment to gently reintroduce this space.

Over the last year(ish), I’ve realized that I want something quieter here. Less structure, fewer expectations, and more room for my honest and raw thoughts. Letters, if you will.

So, this space is becoming Letters by Deanna.

Here I’ll be sharing personal letters. Some will be inspired by my blog, Life by Deanna, and others will be shaped by whatever season I’m in. I’ll be expanding on blog posts, sharing stories, and letting you in on the more personal side of things. Like pen pals!

You can expect:

• Weekly letters that expand on new blog posts

• Cozy, conversational reflections

• One end-of-the-month letter to wrap things up

• Small cozy notes (the little things that make life a little better)

I hope you will enjoy this new cozy space and find something you’d like to read.

I’m really glad you’re here!

Until next time,

Deanna

👋🏼 P.S. you can also find me on: Life by Deanna, IG, Threads, + Facebook!

If you picked up The Christmas Tree Farm by Laurie Gilmore this month or even just soaked in the festive vibes from afar, I’m so happy you’re here. December always feels full, and reading together is my favourite way to slow it all down and savor the season a little more.

This month’s pick was meant to feel like a soft Hallmark hug: snowy small-town charm, holiday nostalgia, and a romance to make you smile. Let’s chat about it!

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💬 Let’s talk about The Christmas Tree Farm

Here are some discussion questions! Feel free to answer as many as you’d like. I will leave my answers in the comments so we can chat about it!!

1. What did you think of Kira as a character?

2. If you could own a business in Dream Harbor, what would it be?

3. Did you like Kira and Bennett together?

4. Was there a moment that made you smile, laugh, or feel especially cozy?

5. How did you like the use of letters in the story?

6. What do you rate this?

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Your cozy reading companion:

I shared a recipe to go with the book this month (Christmas Tree Spinach Dip Breadstick). Did you end up making these? Or have any other goodies? Would love to hear what you ate or drank this month while reading.

If you liked this book, try…

If The Christmas Tree Farm hit the spot, you might also enjoy:

• Love Light Farms by B.K. Borison

• The Holiday Swap by Maggie Knox

• Meet Me Under the Mistletoe by Jenny Bayliss

Bookmark these for your cozy winter TBR.

Thank you for reading along!!

Whether you finished the book, read a few chapters, or just joined us for the cozy energy, thank you for being here. I love reading the books every month!

Here’s to warm stories, gentle conversations, and hopefully many more chapters together. Hope you have a fabulous Christmas and New Year!

Until next time,

Deanna

💻 You can also find me on the blog: lifebydeanna.com

📌 Follow along on Instagram, Threads, and Pinterest

I’ve been doing some thinking about the year ahead. 2026! Wow, I cannot believe it’s basically here. I ordered a new planner (so excited) and it has a section for my goals. I usually write my goals in my phone because it seems less official. I love setting goals but something about writing them on paper, especially in a planner, seems too concrete to me. I want some wiggle room!

But I think this year I am going to write them in the planner. Who cares anyway? No one needs to know what my goals are or if I achieve them. That thought got me thinking further. I shared my 2025 end-of-the-year recap over on the blog and it was a super fun round-up of the year, my favourite things, lessons learned, and hopes for 2026. What I didn’t include was a recap of all the goals I set in January.

The reality is, I did achieve some of the goals. Super happy about that. But there are some I didn’t achieve too. It didn’t feel important to share that information in the blog post but I actually think it is important to share.

This time of year, we are looking at everyone’s highlight reel. All the accomplishments and exciting things they did. It can make it seem like everything went perfectly for them. They must have achieved all the goals they set! How awesome. But how sucky for me because I didn’t.

We all know that social media is fake. It doesn’t make it easier though when all you see is the money people made, trips they went on, goals achieved… Even though I know they failed at something or struggled, it’s not being shared!

So, let’s dive into my 2025 goals and I will tell you what really happened this year.

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My 2025 goals:

I broke my goals into a couple of sections. I have a running list of my “big long-term goals” that don’t change too much year to year. Then I have the yearly sections such as blogging goals, money goals, health goals, and “for fun” goals.

I’ll share my big long-term goals, but since I haven’t necessarily not achieved them (yet), I won’t really go into it.

• 100k monthly page views on the blog

• 10k followers on Threads/ Instagram

• Sell something related to the blog

• Write a blog post for a popular blog

• Work full-time for myself

• Create a successful community or membership

• Start a family

I am pregnant right now, so I guess we can tick starting a family off that list!

My blogging goals:

15k monthly page views: The year started off so strong. I was getting about 12k monthly page views until about March or April. The summer hit and normally a dip in traffic is totally normal. The traffic picks back up come September. Not this year. It has been doing nothing but going down. I think AI has something to do with it. But the reality is, my blog went from about 12k monthly page views to 7k.

1k Threads followers: I achieved this one! I currently have about 1550 Threads followers and growing. I love that platform and I really wanted to grow it this year. It’s slow growth but it’s working.

Average 50% open rate on emails: Another success! I couldn’t believe how well my email list did this year. I was able to up my open rate to over 50%.

Average 4% click-through rate on emails: I started off strong with this early in the year. It started to decrease during fall and winter. I did change up the format of my bi-weekly newsletters a bit, so I do think that impacted it. However, I still averaged about 3.5%. While I did not achieve this goal, I am happy with the outcome nonetheless.

Write guest posts for 10 websites: Ahhh, I really slacked on this, you guys. This is one of the goals that bothers me the most because I just didn’t even try. I wrote about 4 guest posts this year. Not even half!

500k monthly views on Pinterest: I have been working on using Pinterest as a way to get blog traffic. It was great for a while. I was getting about 300k monthly views on Pinterest. I know many people say this metric doesn’t matter but it was something I wanted to track. Like my blog traffic, my Pinterest traffic dropped drastically. I’m getting about 113k monthly views to Pinterest now. I’m working hard to get that up but it’s slow going.

Grow book club to 50 members: Okay, so this one has been a wild ride. I originally started The Cozy Girls Book Club on Patreon. It was not bad but it was hard to get people to sign up for another platform. I decided to switch it over to here (Substack) since so many people already use the platform. I have managed to grow my Substack to about 59 members which is HUGE! However, the book club has been crickets. I would say this is a pretty big fail since basically no one interacts with the posts. It’s not for lack of trying but I think it’s one of the goals that I need to reconsider and pivot.

My money goals:

Make $100 a month from the blog: I was so close!! I had a couple of months where I made over $100 (some were even almost $300). So this was a very close achievement. However, again due to the drop in blog traffic, my ad revenue also went down. That’s okay though, because I still ended up making a little bit more than last year! AND this was my first year of blogging that I made a little bit of money from affiliate marketing.

Create a digital product: I started this but didn’t complete it. The digital product is in the works!! I am hoping for an early 2026 release. Not achieved but some progress was made.

My health goals:

Weight goal: I set a weight goal for this year. I did manage to lose about 10 pounds, but got stuck on the last 10. Then I got pregnant and have gained it all back lol!! So, it was a bust, but I have great motivation for after the baby comes.

Workout 4 times a week: I didn’t end up tracking this, so my bad. But for a good portion of the year I did workout regularly. I would say this was an achievement, given that I was pretty active until the pregnancy. It’s been really hard to stay active, but I’ve been going for walks. This one needs some grace, I think.

Salad with most meals: I didn’t really do this. I will admit that I’m really lazy when it comes to cooking. This year has been a bad example for measuring my healthy meals. It started off pretty strong and has become a dumpster fire. I think I’ll try again next year.

My for fun goals:

Read 40 books: I did that!! Always very serious about my reading goal haha

Finish office/library makeover: I’d say this was achieved. I finally hung things on the wall and put the extenders on my bookshelves. There will always be little things I’d like to do but for the most part, the room is complete.

Limit social media time to 2 hours a day: LOL, this was a nice thought, but did not happen. Maybe some days. Not all the time. There was a lot of doom scrolling and honestly, a lot of time spent on social media comparing my account to others. It was not the healthiest year for social media usage.

Do a puzzle: I am working on a puzzle now! Late to the game with this, but better late than never.

Find my personal style: this is still a work in progress. I definitely found the kind of clothes I enjoy wearing and tried to get outside my comfort zone a little bit but didn’t really stick to it.

Wrapping it up:

If we were to put some numbers to the goals I achieved this year, it would look like: 5/17. That is a rough number to look at!

That is not the way I’m looking at it, though. I achieved 5 goals I set this year, which is huge. A few of the “unachieved” goals were worked on and progress was made. At the end of the day, that is still a win.

If you are looking at the goals you set and didn’t achieve, I urge you to look at things in a shade of grey. Goal setting doesn’t always need to be black and white, even though we were all taught that in school when setting SMART goals. Let’s leave that mindset in 2025.

You did great this year, and so did I. Let’s take that energy forward into 2026!

Until next time,

Deanna

The realization has been that if I want those things, I need to go out of my way to cultivate them. That’s not inherently cozy… but it has to be done! A little work for lots of reward. I suppose that is the give and take of life!

And let me tell you, it’s hard to slow down in a fast world. Even when you want to! Everyone is always moving so fast. Things need to be done NOW. People are driving too slow, walking too slow, talking too slow… it seems like everyone around me is okay with things being a race.

I’ve always been quite passive. It takes a lot to bother me. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. And I always say things like “it’s not a race,” “what’s the rush,” “it will happen when it happens”. I’ve noticed that most people aren’t like that. I’ve started to think that cozy living is a mindset that a lot of people just don’t (or maybe can’t) have.

So the struggle has really been how I’m going to fit my cozy, slow, calm lifestyle into this busy world. I live in a small city. The roads are packed with cars and there is always a crowd wherever you go. It’s not exactly cozy. However, just because I want a cozy life doesn’t mean I want to be isolated. I think cozy living comes from the small things and the mindset you have.

Since I can’t change the world around me and society’s hustle culture, I’ve decided to make a list of things that I do currently that are cozy or things I’d like to do to make life cozier.

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My cozy living list:

• Filling my home with cozy furniture, soft lighting, and warm colors

• Wearing comfortable clothing on a regular basis. You will find me in leggings and sweaters most of the time!

• Minimal makeup. It feels cozier to not have a bunch of makeup on. You’ll never find me in full glam even for a night out.

• Reading books. Probably one of the coziest hobbies next to crochet lol. I read a lot and I read what I want. No forcing self-help or books for learning (though there is nothing wrong with those!!). I pick up a lot of small-town romance, fantasy, and easy low low-stakes stories.

• I like to have naps on the weekend or whenever I need a nap. It’s so cozy and relaxing to curl up on the couch at 2pm and sleep for a bit. No shame in napping!

• A healthy amount of clutter. Super sterile, organized, perfect spaces are not for me. Having seasonal decor, things on the countertops, and having that “lived in” aesthetic is very cozy living to me.

• Moving slowly through life. I try my best to schedule my breaks while working so that I actually get time to rest, eat, or enjoy myself in some way. The work day is mainly rushing around and being as productive as possible and it’s so draining. I need my breaks.

• I like to treat myself to little things that feel special, even if they aren’t. Things like a warm drink from the drive-thru on the way to work, a book that was on sale, a cookie from the bakery… little ways to spoil myself.

• Eating food that feels cozy. Winter is especially a good time for comfort foods!

• Being alone. I don’t think cozy living is necessarily introverted or meant to be a solo endeavor but I do think being alone with yourself and your thoughts is a must. You’ll find me on the couch, ambient music on, just existing on my own. Sometimes, without having anything to do… no phone, no book, just me and my thoughts.

• Spending time in cozy spaces is a great way to embrace the cozy lifestyle. Finding cute cafes, wandering the bookstore, reading in the library, a whimsical picnic at a quiet park… you don’t need to be home all the time to be cozy. Find other spots that give you similar vibes.

• Finding joy in the everyday is something I’ve noticed others struggle with but I think is a key part to cozy living. Noticing how the sun shines in the window, the smell of your favourite candle, the house that always has fun Christmas lights. Those bring me joy and help me slow down and be in the current moment.

Ultimately, life cannot be a cozy paradise all the time. Life gets busy, there are responsibilities, or you just fall into that hustle and bustle. I often find myself trying to get as much done as possible. Or spending way too much time on my phone because creating content is literally a non-stop thing!! I need to remind myself on a regular basis that hustling to be on every platform all the time is not helping me live the life I want. It’s just stressing me out!

But it’s easy to fall into that trap over and over because we live in a fast, not-so-cozy world.

Living a cozy lifestyle and being a cozy girl is a choice and I choose to live my life a certain way (at least most of the time).

Maybe you can relate or you want to embrace a slower, softer life. If so, I hope you find what you’re looking for and are able to slow down the chaos just a little bit to live the cozy life.

Until next time,

Deanna

💻 You can also find me on the blog: lifebydeanna.com

📌 Follow along on Instagram, Threads, and Pinterest